can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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