8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
