Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
