You smell like stripper and shame
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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