i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
