worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
