Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
