fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
