Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
