if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
