I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
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