help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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