saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
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