So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
