I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
