I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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