we have officially lost it.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
