Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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