I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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