You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
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