then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
