A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
