drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's always time for handjobs
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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