what day is it and did you see me today?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
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