I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
