I think scott just propositioned me for sex
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
