FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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