nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
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