no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
