and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
