Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Randomize
