I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Randomize
