Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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