If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
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Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
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He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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