if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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