When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
