what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
The best revenge is premature balding
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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