I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
