I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
