I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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