Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
