the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
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