Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Pooping to opera.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
