you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
