I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
