i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
