what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
