Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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