Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I think your dad took our porno
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
