the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
