just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
