why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
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