I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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