Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Two words: blizzard sex
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
