as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
